lol...ok, so that sounds a little bit dramatic, but I bet it caught your attention! It almost seems like I've abandoned the blog, but I haven't. I still cook and eat healthy, and I'm always thinking about things to write about. I just haven't been feeling confident in myself, and if I really can't stay positive to myself, how can I inspire others?
I've always been self-conscious about my weight. Funny thing is that, as a kid and through my teens, I wasn't a fat kid. But I always saw myself as fat person. When I was 18, I weighed about 150lbs (I'm 5'9"), and I played a lot of sports too. Like I mentioned before, my weight plummeted during college, and by the time I was 23, I weighed about 220-something lbs. Even though I've lost most of the weight I gained during college, when I look in the mirror, I still see my 220+lbs self. I don't feel comfortable in my one piece swimsuit, I don't feel comfortable in my clothes....sometimes don't even feel comfortable working out at the gym sometimes, or grappling with my (well) grappling buddies...I feel like I'm the fat chick trying to appear as if I'm working hard at lifting weights and running...I dunno....
I'm working to improve that. Above losing weight, and eating healthy, what I really want to change the most is how I see myself.
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